Forever Friends

My Christmas Adventures:

It's been a pretty tough past couple of weeks. Seems like everything I've touched has broken. My car broke down when I drove home for Thanksgiving, then was broken into after I got back to school and my GPS and a backpack full of notes and books were stolen. Then during finals week my computer died. The operating system just completely shut down and all I got was a blank screen with a cursed cursor blinking at the top (thank you PC). I ended up taking less than adequate grades in several classes because all my research for final papers/projects was on my computer. And a bunch of other smaller things just went wrong.

So, I didn't start the holiday season in much of a good mood. And on top of that the holidays have never been a favorite time of the year for my family. Dad always gets depressed because he misses Mom, and he can never buy us presents as money is tight this time of year. H has a birthday right before Christmas, and hates that it always gets forgotten in the rush of the season. S is pretty much ambivalent about it all.

And then there's me. I love Christmas. I always have. While some folks think about all the stuff they won't get, or all the stuff that's gone wrong the past year, I tend to look at all the good stuff happening. I love how people are just nicer at Christmas. All over the world people are celebrating some sort of holiday season. We all celebrate time with family, friends, and the blessings of the year though we do it through the eyes of many cultures and religions. There's just something special about knowing that all over the world people are celebrating together.

This year it was extremely hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit. I've had some disagreements with some folks in my family, and I didn't really want to face them again until the wounds had started to heal. Because I work at a church I ended up spending the holiday break at my apartment instead of home with the family. They ended up coming to visit the grandparents so I did get to spend Christmas day with them. It took until Christmas Eve for me to really get into the spirit of the season. I worked at our church's Christmas Eve service, and after I went over to join my "second family" because it was too late for me to drive to where my Dad and sisters were. TC and JC have a Christmas Eve dinner with all of their family over (who I know through church and other outlets) and I just had an amazing time. For some reason it hit me that even though this year, and particularly this semester, have been incredibly hard I have been surrounded by people who love and care about me. Just to know there are people I can turn to when I'm having a tough day has been the biggest blessing of this year.  I simply sat and took it all in, realizing this was what I loved about Christmas, spending time with those I loved (whether related by blood or not). These people are my family, and I love them dearly. I have many people here in my home-away-from-home that have taken care of me through this past troubling couple of months, and I can never tell them how much they mean to me. Realizing that was probably the best gift I received this Christmas.

"Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end." 
---Unknown

Latin Beer Blessing

This almost makes me wish I was Catholic. It's a beer blessing from the Rituale Romanum (no 58). A friend showed it to me, and I thought it worth passing on, first in Latin then in English. The photo is one I took this fall and just really enjoy. Cheers!

Benedic, Domine, creaturam istam cerevisae, quam ex adipe frumenti producere dignatus es: ut sit remedium salutare humano generi: et praesta per invocationem nominis tui sancti, ut, quicumque ex ea biberint, sanitatem corporis, et animae tutelam percipiant. Per Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen

Bless, O Lord, this creature beer, that Thou hast been pleased to bring forth from the sweetness of the grain: that it might be a salutary remedy for the human race: and grant by the invocation of Thy holy name, that, whosoever drinks of it may obtain health of body and a sure safeguard for the soul.

Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

To The New Owner of My GPS

Dear Grinch,

I do not know why you chose to break into my car today and steal my GPS. I have decided, however, to bear no ill will against you. You obviously needed it more than I did. I hope you have a Grinch-style revelation this Christmas, and find new direction for your life. I do wish you would return my backpack as it has textbooks and class notes that I would dearly like to have. I'm glad you did not break my window as you did my friend's, or steal my purse as you did my neighbor's. Sure it's just one more thing in a week that has been full of everything I touch going wrong. But, since it's only stuff, I will replace it. I'm not happy about your decision to rob my car, but I refuse to let you ruin the Christmas season for me. Enjoy your new GPS. TomTom was good to me, and I know he will be to you.

With Christmas Cheer,
Cindy Lou Who (a.ka. Ruth)

"Fighting"

Here's a poem I penned a couple of days ago after having a rough day. I showed it to my "adopted dad" and he quickly reminded me that I am not alone and that I am surrounded by people who sincerely care about me. With that said, we all have days we feel no one understands what we're going through, and sometimes that no one even cares. I just happen to have one of those when I wrote this.

I have realized how blessed I am; that even in the midst of struggle there are those who are caring for me, encouraging me, and just simply listening to what I have to say. I will probably never be able to fully express my appreciation for them. Still not much for poetry, but I know some of you will understand where I'm coming from on this. I do want to reiterate that I am not depressed or anything, I just had a rough day and this seemed the best way to express myself.

Fighting
I'm fighting.
Struggling to keep my head above the surface,
Longing for my feet to touch land.
But still the waves come,
Stronger each time,
Sapping my strength,
Causing me to sink.
The first wave hit so long ago.
Scared and alone, I was pulled out to sea.
Though I fought, and fought,
The waves struck again.
They reached out
Offering hands of peace.
Instead the hands turned against me,
I was held under,
Struggling, screaming silently,
Hoping for someone to care.
But no one did.
I was alone.
The waves came again and again,
Before one had passed another struck.
I weaken with each passing day,
Fighting still, hoping you will see
You stand on the bank,
Watching the waves crash over me,
But not caring.
Not moving to help,
Or even sounding the alarm.
Instead you yell, "Just have faith."
"I have faith," I gasp,
As the water pulls me under once again.
Faith one day the water will calm,
The storm will pass.
But for now,
I'm fighting.
Weak. Scared. Alone.
I'm so tired of fighting.
-R. Bryan