Thursday, March 24, 2011

Authentic Cowgirl

This weekend I had the opportunity to travel back home and visit my Dad, H and S. We also got the news that Dad's biopsy came back clean, so that was a huge relief! One of S's favorite things to do is ride horses. A while back I posted about how envious I was of her skill. So, I decided I would go riding with her one afternoon to spend time doing what she does best. I proudly pulled on my boots, hat, and jeans and looked every inch the authentic cowgirl. I mean, I really looked the part. Then I strutted up to the barn, looking like I knew exactly what I was doing. S quickly handed me this huge stack of tack (riding equipment). Although I had saddled a horse before, it had been some time, and it quickly became obvious that I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. S quietly came over and fixed my mistaken jumble of straps without fanfare, for which I am grateful. So there I was, looking the part but completely oblivious, and there she was in jean shorts looking like a supermodel, but the master of her craft. Later it became even more evident that I didn't have a clue what I was doing when the horse took off with me and I nearly killed myself, but that's a story for another post!

My crazy mind started thinking about how sometimes that's how we go through life. Looking the part, but not really living it. I used this as a Bible Study topic last night, about how many people claim to be religious but don't really "walk the walk," but rather just "talk the talk." It can apply to so much else though. Are we really letting our true selves out around others, or do we have a different personality for each different group we encounter? I know I'm guilty of having one persona at school, and another outside of it (but that is partly of necessity because my school is extremely strict). Wouldn't the world be a better place if we could all just be ourselves?

Just bored at work, so my mind is just ruminating on all sorts of crazy stuff. Hope you're doing great!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Some Days

I'm really working on being more positive. On looking for the silver lining, and putting my best foot forward. But some days it catches up with you. I'm getting ready to graduate in May with my BA degree, and just really wishing my Mom could be here for the ceremony. Dad had a prostate biopsy on Thursday, and we're waiting for Friday to see what the results hold. I'm not sure if I should wish for it to be all clear, or if I hope they find something we can fix that will cure his health problems. And to top it all of, there's a guy I like and who I think likes me back and I would just really love to be able to pick up the phone and call my mom to talk about it. Most days I just think about her as a passing thought with a smile, but today I just really wish I could get a hug from her and a listening ear. I'm surrounded by so many loving people, and my "adopted" Mom is really amazing, but it's just not the same.

Sorry for the depressing post, but I just needed to get it off my mind. My best friend and I are about to go to dinner and bowling, and I want to be in a better mood for him (wink).

So do me a favor, give your mom a hug if your able, or at least a phone call. Tell her you love her and that you're grateful for all she's done. Moms are such a big part of our lives, and sometimes we don't realize just how much so until its too late.